Mommy-Guilt

Here's Zac on his 1st day of preschool this year. He's all business... carrying his banana-nut muffin, and rolling his backpack full of important stuff.

Three out of the four days of preschool drop-off this week have included one or more of the following statements from Zac:

"I don't WANT to go to school!"

"Mommy?  Zachary doesn't want to go to school today."

And of course, the dreaded...

"WAAAAAAAHHHH!  MAAAAA-MEEEEEEE!  WAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"
(This last one's accompanied by lots of tears, feet-stomping, and severe angst.)

All of the above lead to lots of Mommy-guilt.  Now, it's not like I drop Zac off at school, go home, and eat bon-bons.  I work full-time.  Could I quit my job and stay home?  Um... sure... but we'd have to move into a less-expensive house, drive a less-expensive car, and live a much less-expensive lifestyle.  Could we do it?  Sure.  Lots of people get by on a lot less.  Do Martin and I want to?  Not really.  And, lastly, do I want to stay home with the boys full-time?  Not on your life.  Don't get me wrong, I love them dearly.  But, I'm not cut out to be a stay-at-home mom.  I'm not one of those people who think that SAHM's have it easy.  I know how hard it is to stay home with the kids full-time, and I feel fortunate that I don't.  Does that make me feel guilty?  Sure.

So, for now, I'll have to learn to deal with the emotional toll of Zac's meltdowns at drop-off time.  But that doesn't mean that I won't feel guilty... every time.